Friday, January 14, 2005

Should Have Known Better

Inept Salespersons R Us. When working in retail one asks the dreaded question "would you like some help there" with trepidation. Should the customer actually require assistance matching shapes and colours, I'd be up a certain creek. Lucky for me the trickiest question I've ever been asked is "does my bum look big in this?" (to which I should have replied "perhaps Madam would like to try a bigger size of tea cosy).

Anyway, on the way home from said job I stop at the local video shop to borrow a DVD which is about the best no-brainer way to end a no-brainer four hours sorting through large tea cosies. I thought I'd try to find the film where Tom Waits and Roberto Benigni play prison escapees. Couldn't remember the title and the movie didn't jump out of the shelves when I browsed.

Should have known better. I asked the salesperson for assistance.

ME: Excuse me - do you know stuff about movies? Can you help me?

10 YEAR OLD SALES ASST: Not really. (Looks uncomfortable. I know that feeling. Boy, I've been there!)

ME: I'm looking for a film. (After all, this IS a cheese shop)

ASST: Oh?

ME: It stars Tom Waits and Roberto Benigni, it's in black and white and it's about their adventures as prison escapees. I'm trying to remember the title.

ASST: (Looks blank. I feel bad - maybe she doesn't know who Tom Waits or Roberto Benigni are. She's trying to think "what were the names of those guys who produced disco music in the 80s? Waits and Benigni? Finally, after a pause so lengthy it would have driven Harold Pinter to the nuthouse): The Great Escape?

ME: No (What to say?!)

ASST: You could look up the actors in that book there and find out what the film is.

ME: Thanks. (I look up the movie and it's "Down By Law". I report this happy news to her. She looks it up on the computer)

ASST: Sorry, we don't have that one. You could try Dr Watt in Bondi Junction. They often have (pause. What??? Weird? Old??) films there.

ME: Thanks for your help. (Exeunt)

FINIS

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